Answering Back

We all remember being young and frustrated;

frustrated for being misunderstood.

There is an age you start drifting away from your parents, when everything they say rubs you up the wrong way.

I can remember until this very day, laying on my bed and feeling so sorry for myself and so angry at absolutely anything that breaths.

And my lovely parents, though they truly tried to help, everything they said annoyed me, so I continued to lash out and push them away even more. When really, all I wanted or needed was a hug.

We all imagine the type of parent we will be when we grow up. I for example, thought I would be an easy-going type of Mum, spontaneous of course, but with utmost calm and understanding AT ALL TIMES.

The years rolled by and my angry teenager self now left far behind.

Today I am a married women and a mother to two young ladies and a dog.

So, what type of mother am I you might ask?

It pains me to say, but I slightly derailed from the initial plan.

I am only really spontaneous after at least two glasses of wine, and calm only after three. I was really understanding until Nelly and Olive decided to start an premature puberty attitude, at the tender age of seven!

For something happens to our tender sweet little angels around that age. They learn to answer back… do you know why? Because they come to the realisation, they CAN.

The first time is always the hardest, it is like whiplash, it happens so fast when you least expect it. For them the first time is like opening the dam and letting go; what a relief! As you all might know, it is rather exhilarating disagreeing and rebelling.

At that moment exactly we kind of lose the ability to understand them, for how dare they talk to us like that! All empathy flies out of the window. It is like a passage way into a new era, a new ''wonderland'' of parenthood, feeling frustrated and disappointed with your child. We all find comfort in talking to other parents that go through the same with their children. At the end of the day, drained and withdrawn, sitting on the sofa, my husband turns to me and says: "You know it is because she is intelligent''. So, being rude to your parents it now a sign of being intelligent? The things we tell ourselves to feel better.

We constantly try to steer away from saying the things our parents said to us, the exact things that made us rage and slam the door so hard the house shook.

Did I at least succeed it doing that? Well, the answer is no.

I literally say the exact same things, the same sentences that were probably used by my great great grandmother. Over the years, we have evolved so much as human beings, but in the field of parenting we are still in the Stone Age.

For when we are faced down in despair, when nothing else seems to work, the punishments don’t seem to have a lasting effect just like a bacteria that becomes resistant to antibiotics.

Yes, my friends, we are all in fact just like our parents. For when all else fails, you will look yourself in the mirror and admit that they must have done something right, as you turned out just fine.