Please 'Like' me

Who are we without social media?

If I don't regularly post an inspirational photo on Instagram, does that mean I am not an inspiring person?

If I don't upload a pic of myself when the lighting is exceptional, am I missing out on something?

If my beautiful family is not exposed all over Facebook, people might well think my marriage is no longer?

If my knowledge in wine, Chinese medicine, poetry, and life is not plastered online, is it worth anything? To others, even to me?

After this year, life seems somewhat flat. Time has lost its edge. Going through the paces, finding our feet once again. I said to my very good friend "don't you feel like you are watching your own life from the outside?" As if the control is at our fingertips, but really, ... it is not.

I feel that I am always chasing something....a feeling, passion, fulfilment.

I feel that what is expected of me controls me.

A vicious cycle, trying to live up to everyone's expectations. There is always that dream, the fantasy you imagine eloping with. Even though, you know deep down you won't. Why? Because sometimes dreams that become reality are not so 'dreamy' after all. So why ruin a good dream?

I want my voice to be heard, but I am afraid that what I have to say won't interest anyone.

I want to write and capture all I am passionate about, but if it is not wrapped up in a perfect ribbon, will it be good enough?

It is so tiring living up to the standard that every moment of ours that was not shared: our morning coffee, healthy lunch, minimalistic perfect dinner with a bottle of wine that is worth half your salary, in a way... If you did not post it, did it happen?

We have all created a way of life that is so hard to keep up with.

The boundaries have faded between real life and the life you portray to others.

I often struggle to put the phone down and just be present in the moment, we have all lost the ability to listen and see without filters.

I find my self-consuming so much nonsense, but I can't seem to stop.

We all know better.

We all know that trying to live up and create what others want to see is draining our livelihood, our creativity, our ability to just BE.

We all yearn for simplicity, but even being simple has become so complicated to achieve and often looks like we are trying so hard to be effortless and authentic.

Our confidence is measured by 'likes' and comments.

Our happiness is pictures of us on the beach looking blissfully happy.

Even though we are really too hot and don't really like the sand sticking to the sunscreen.

But who cares.

I look happy.

So, I am.

Aren't you?